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uotes
The Quotes page emerged several years ago from repeated requests to JDM for Junior's original quips, sayings, analects, brief commentary, even hilarious one-liners, to be compiled into a book or webpage. It is often commented how these concise remarks replay in the mind for years to come, giving simple humor or piercing perspective or new growth. All content here and sitewide is the intellectual and copyright property of JDM. All rights reserved.
The Authoritarian Bond
The so-called "authoritarian bond" is very real. Whether the authoritarian is a controlling friend, or possessive lover, or domineering parent, or political leader with a messiah complex, he/she creates a visceral, mythic bond with his/her subject by leveraging existential personhood cravings, like identity, grievance, deep-seated fears, and aspiration. The codependent bond works like dark magic: the authoritarian gets a steady narcissistic supply, and the subject gets a larger-than-life protector, provider, and avenger for their existential personhood cravings.
This dynamic is not unlike ancient Israel tantruming to return to the codependent authoritarian bond they had with Pharaoh (Num 14:1-4, 11:4-6). It is not unlike the Israel of Samuel's day clamoring and moaning for an earthly king to "judge us and go out before us and fight our battles" (1Sam 8:20 ESV). It is not unlike Ephraim and Judah genuflecting pitifully to the Assyrian king (Hos 5:13). It is not unlike Judah genuflecting pitifully to Pharaoh for protection and help against that same Assyrian king later on (Isa 30:1-5). It is not unlike King Asa genuflecting pitifully to King Ben-Hadad for protection and help against King Baasha (2Chr 16:1-9). Or Jonathan, the subject, and Saul, the authoritarian. Or Ahab, the subject, and Jezebel, the authoritarian. Or Simon the sorcerer and his followers in Samaria (Ac 8:9-11). Or Diotrephes and his unnamed followers keeping him in power (3Jn 1:9,10).
What society calls codependency God's Word calls idolatry. It is making a person, or multiple persons, more emotionally and functionally important than Yahweh Elohim. It is feeling stronger for that person than we do for the Lord. It is being more emotionally reactive and radioactive about that person than we are for the Lord. Idolatry is always revealed in the emotions, the felt reverberations of what is in the heart (Eze 14:4, Mt 15:19). Jeremiah worded it this way: someone who trusts in man, depends on flesh for strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord (Jer 17:5). Functionally, these felt reverberations come out of our mouths as comments, grouchy clapbacks, simplistic excuses, and questionable justifications (Mt 12:34, 15:18). They then come out as behaviors and decisions organized around the codependent bond, further enabling it.
Codependent bonds almost never end reasonably, especially authoritarian bonds. This is because the power addict never gives up the narcissistic supply easily or without taking the ship down with him/her. As born-again, Bible-believing Christians, we need to rouse ourselves from the self-induced coma of codependency, in any form, especially the utterly, imminently dangerous form that involves a power addict. Jeremiah said a codependent person brings curses on themselves (Jer 17:5), will not recognize good and prosperity when they come (v6), and will end up in a dry, lonely desert (v6). Paul said it simply, "You were bought for a price; do not become slaves of people" (1Co 7:23 NASB).
The first step is heart-level, explicit repentance in the presence of the Lord. Then, an earnest cry to Him for next steps in how to exodus out of the dark magic that is the authoritarian bond.
12/29/25
Scriptures
...who takes his idols into his heart and sets the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face...
Ezekiel 14:4 (ESV)
But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Matthew 15:18,19 (NIV)
This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives."
Jeremiah 17:5,6 (NIV)
You were bought for a price; do not become slaves of people.
1Corinthians 7:23 (NASB)
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